"You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”
-

you know how in 'stardust', the witches had to find the star, and cut out her heart to eat in order to keep their power and youth? sometimes i feel like that with j enric. in the sense that because we saw each other through so many crucial moments in sweden, we explored the lands together, and explored our lives - discussing the possibilities of doing so many other things rather than just working to our deaths in singapore. well sad to say, having returned to singapore for about a month now - meeting up with friends who have graduated, friends who have started working, and facing the reality of life - whatever new directions i had is now slowly fading away into the same old routine i had before i even left. now that j enric's freshly back from lund, i just can't wait to hang out with her because you know, she's fresh, with all our young dreams still intact. it's ironic because in sweden, she said i was the one who inspired her. now all my the inspiration's run dry. i'm actually hoping to get a whiff of swedish air from her, meet the person who knew me before i became all apathetic again and maybe that magical air will enthuse me somehow? it's so insane right. but anything, anything to remind me that there's a bigger world out there than just wanting to join the rat race and carve a career out for myself. which is what i'm finding myself worrying about these days.

i really dread graduating, because i think i won't be brave enough to really do what i want to do.