"You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”
-

just met up with hazel and des to decide where we are going to spend our first few "homeless" nights in sweden. sigh. i wish m.y. was going with me too. i've grown used to travelling with her and do, at least we have the same tastes and everything.

i really hope i won't see him again, at least for another year. realised that i'm not strong enough, though time and time again i've tried. everytime i think i've succeeded, it proved to be an illusion as something as small as a glance is able to send my wall crumbling down each time. i'm really sick of all these emo blog posts too. why can't i just stop. why why why.

7 days.

just two days ago i started packing, bit by bit. into the luggage went my winter clothes first. then went my accessories. the rest have yet to be packed. my parents were watching me pack, and i already started missing them, not being able to see them for the next 6 months. plus my friends. my closest friends who are not following me this time. and all my other friends. hmm. i dunno. i've been so emotional these days, and it's not even pms-time yet! HAHA. dunno how i'm going to survive there. i really hope i don't get homesick, which i think is highly likely because i already feel abit homesick the past few :( after last night, i was abit more eager to leave. leave this mess behind. this mess which has been rotting for the past one and half years. it's time to make a clean break. this is the chance for my great escape.

okay, maybe "eager" is not the right word. somehow, i don't feel excited at all. more like... i guess flying off is the only option i have to happiness.