"You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”
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This term is really killing me in terms of my gradees. Just got back my MS midterms today and will be receiving my MA results later. Dieee. I really should start getting serious, like now. But I'll start tomorrow la. It's always tomorrow. Do it NOW! No la, tomorrow la.

I'm so jaded from struggling to keep afloat. I've taken that one deep breath before I started swimming but I realised that it may not be enough. At this point of time I feel like letting go of the things I've fought so hard for, because as the date draws closer, I get more and more doubtful. And it's tiring to keep on hoping and fighting when the facts just show that it's a losing battle.

At times I wish I had a forceful hand to guide me, to drag me along, or to propel me forward. I wish for an authoritarian figure to tell me what I should or should not do. Stumbling forward in my own footsteps, wondering if it's the right path... it's so confusing and the consequences stare in your face at each crossroad, but I guess it's something I have to do.

The words of the trainer from the leadership workshop I attended last weekend keeps ringing in my head: "Sometimes giving up is not a show of defeat, it's just acknowledging the risks and facing reality. You can always try again when you're ready, because if you're not, you're just putting your whole team at risk."

I still want to try. But I need the strength.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can;and wisdom to know the difference. -Reinhold Niebuhr