"You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”
-

Major rants. You have been warned.

I've been faithfully doing my readings and putting in more effort in school than I have in the last year, partly because it's only the beginning of the term and I'm still quite free. But I have this feeling that it isn't gonna pay off anyway. I don't know why. I just feel it's pointless but I go on anyway because I know I can't not go on. Needless to say, it's very unsettling having this thought nagging at the back of my head almost all the time.

It's kinda like I'm forcing myself forward, when I should be propelled instead. Seems like I've lost all my motivation for this term, when it has barely begun.

Plus, this term has been a rather empty one for me so far because I no longer have dance practices or any other activity besides school. So school is just, well, school to me. Totally pales in comparison to exciting summer. At least last year I was overwhelmed with alumni dance, driving, SMUX, ballroom and caderas. Hahs I complained when I had too much to do and now I'm complaining there's too little.

I used to look forward to going to school to see my friends but I don't have the same classes as them anymore. Two weeks has passed and I don't even bump into them much. Take Joanne for example, I haven't seen her at all since school started.

And it didn't help that the semester didn't start out well, with Mei and I having problems with our groupings in almost all our classes. It had always been a breeze for me. The groups used to come to me hah! I feel like I've been un-lucked.

And now I sound like a depressed freak.

Argh.

I hope it's just PMS or something.

I really wanna go to Timbre and Holland V soon.

Or maybe I need something bigger.