"You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”
-

i was thinking today how easily i might have been any girl i saw on the street. maybe that nerd, that sweet girl-next-door, or the ah-lian all decked in shiny pink. who knows? maybe, if i didn't go to st. marg's, or if i had a different group of friends while i was growing up, i wouldn't even be me. it's like those books, where you get to choose your next move. every move you take at each point of time will bring you to a totally different ending. life is like that, in a way. except, you can't go back to try another move if you don't like the ending.

it's scary, how we think we know who we are, but yet, we're really don't. that our personalities, views and way of thinking are mostly actually shaped by the things and people around us, we're not really us, we are just reflections, always changing, and adapting, perhaps until a certain point in our lives when we've hardened completely into the moulds which society has given us.

we were lying on the bed the other day, and i was telling the girls that most of the time i stumble into things. i don't make major decisions based on rational thinking, but somehow i just find myself making choices in a flurry, and then suddenly i realise i'm in the middle of something i don't really understand. like i'm just falling into things, falling into character. and it's so easy to just drift to where the current takes you, without thinking too much. i've been like this for all of my life. but i'm starting to wonder, what if i don't like the ending of my story?