"You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”
-

i was tossing and turning in bed for an hour or so last night. when i couldn't take it anymore, i went outside and sat on the sofa, curling up into a ball and hugging my knees, digging my nails into them. i tried to watch the oc, which i taped, but i was writhing too much and after half the show had passed, i realised i didn't know what had happened at all. i really don't know how i'm going to concentrate on studying for gp today.

how can anyone? with your abdomen sometimes churning, throbbing in excruciating pain, and an uncontrollable feeling of nausea that hits you in waves. i'm not exaggerating, and it's not like i have a low threshold for pain. it seems like if pain comes this often, one would get eventually get used to it. but if there's one thing i learnt, it's that one can never get used to pain. i took panadol, that's how i managed to get to sleep, but the effect of panadol has worn off and i'm not supposed to take another one so soon. and i throw up whatever herbal medicine my maid cooks. sigh. now i know why some terminally-ill patients would choose euthanasia.

but it's not all that bad. at least it only lasts for a few days, and at least it's today and not tomorrow. yikes.

some people say that this is kind of a preparation for childbirth? which makes me even more scared. apparently, the two worst forms of pain in the world are caused by firstly, the bite by a black-widow spider, and secondly, childbirth. i don't think black-widow spiders injuries are very common, but childbirth is something which about half of the world's population face. i don't know, maybe it's a both a curse and blessing in itself. guys are much luckier because they don't have to suffer anything close to the world's greatest pains. well of course there's the possibility of war. but that may or may not happen.

i know some people don't like to see girls blogging about their monthlys. but hello, it's the 21st century already. even virginia woolf wrote poems on them. so face it.