"You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”
-

running, running, as fast as we can.


me, the social counsellor? hurhur.

ohh, i saw a darn cute fishbowl the other day. it's like those round ones that you see in cartoons, but in a miniature version. but it's useless if i just buy it to display at home. and i don't want to get fishes to put inside either, because all my pets die within a month? i seriously don't know why! i'm like such a nice owner hehe. aiya daner's fault for making me walk past that aquarium shop every time we go to buy food after tuition. exposed me to the "temptation". lol.

hmm. maybe, i could buy tuna fishes to put in my fish bowl! then after they die at least can eat them!

okay that was sadistic.

this is totally a waste of time?! sitting in front of the computer pondering over whether i should get a fish bowl or not. geez. shall not waste time any longer and go do my chem tutorial now.

gonna make it alright.


fast-paced existence.

finding time to meet people to pass them the tickets, planning of the poster and invitation cards during breaks, as well as scheduling appointments for meetings with ms in during them, thinking of ideas for announcements, getting the posters actually printed. deadline: end of this week. add on the tests - the reason why i didn't study for econs was because i was busy doing the image for the poster - totally hectic. thankfully the publicity committee can retire as soon as all the tickets are sold? i hope.

on the subject of dancing proper, i think my techniques have deteriorated. urgh. but sometimes practice doesn't make perfect, there's something more to it, and i don't know what i've lost.


hmm i haven't blogged for almost a week? met up with daner on tuesday, today, with ming. there were so many sa and ac people in town, they just ended their block tests. kinda weird how aj doesn't have block tests, just lecture tests, other than that life pretty much goes on as usual. the school probably doesn't want to waste "precious curriculum time" haha.

out of all the days to skip maths lecture we had to skip the one where there was a surprise maths test?! and it's not like we skipped it to sleep or slack, we wanted to study econs for the econs test right after maths lect! the teachers are so evil to hold the test today. at least andrew got "his" paper passed up, sarah amanda and i didn't! tentatively, we have decided that the teachers are either going to lose our answer scripts(yes, all three of them coincidentally), or, we were too ashamed of not knowing how to do the questions to pass the papers up.

got my nano case today! now it's finally protected under its silver armour and looks absolutely gorgeous. hehe.

You scored as Dance. You should be a Dance major! Like a lithe ballerina,you dance because you believe there is beauty in expressing the physical form. Theater 100% Dance 100% Philosophy 100% English 100% Linguistics 100% Journalism 100% Psychology 92% Sociology 75% Art 50% Anthropology 50% Biology 42% Mathematics 25% Chemistry 17% Engineering 17% What is your Perfect Major? (PLEASE RATE ME!) created with QuizFarm.com

see! this proves it! dropping physics was the right choice, i don't have to regret. engineering and i just don't match. haha.

oh wait. i just realised that the bottom three subjects which i am most unsuited for are the very three subjects i've been taking?! shucks. should have really gone to arts. urgh.


in too deep.

i'm still reeling from the shock of it all. how you told me not to trust her, but all that supposed concern was just so that your own flaws and secrets wouldn't be uncovered. all those people around, all those lies, all those motives.

it feels like one of my friend's happiness lies in my hands? maybe this time it's really true, maybe i shouldn't interfere any longer, maybe i shouldn't have interfered at all. he's pleading me to help him, but by doing so i don't know whether it'll do my friend good or bad.

it's a really bad time to ask for my help because i've just lost my trust of everything. everyone.

every step i try to take away from you, i stumble, and find myself sinking down even lower than before.


pretty? found the images from getty, then gray-scaled and monochromed them and what-nots. done completely by yours truly. :D


couldn't have been more wrong. the miracle worker had never ever been against me. i was the one against her.

if i could turn back time, i would have lied.


had a great time with the girls today. lala shuwen jiejie meimei marie dorene amanda and me. went nus, bugis for lunch, smu, then shopped a little at raffles city, then headed down to town. super fun cam-whoring and talking about big stuff and small stuff haha. even at night when there were only marie dorene and i left, we still had fun making all sorts of funny faces and acting stupid. ohh, we were at far east plaza when this guy started following us! he had long unkempt hair, to the waist, and wore a tattered shirt which he only buttoned half-way up. it didn't help that he had this psychotic expression on his face. he followed us down the escalator, so we hurriedly went into a shop to hide. then he actually waited outside the shop! omg. the shopkeepers saw him and told us to just wait inside for a while till he goes, and mentioned that there was actually another psycho like him hanging around the area. then after like two minutes the shopkeepers told us he was gone already and that it was safe. damn freaky. even little singapore has its fair share of weirdos.

dorene and i went inside the house of condoms! they sell, um, interesting stuff. quite funny actually lol.

so tired. still have dance tomorrow from 11 to 7. urghhh.

smash your crystal ball into a thousand pieces.


you know i just realised that i'd be doomed for sure if i ever met a serial killer or some venomous snake or anything? cos' when i'm scared i don't run. i just close my eyes and squeeze them really tight and stay still and hope that whatever it is goes away. and even if it's coming closer and closer to me, i still keep my eyes shut. somehow it gives me some kind of false security.

maybe it's some kind of personality trait. like if you stay and fight danger it shows that you're a fighter and will overcome whatever obstacles which come your way. if you run, it shows that you'll escape and try to avoid it. if you shut your eyes, well, maybe it shows you'll just pretend and hope that nothing is there even though you're in grave danger.

fantasist versus realist.

haha. it's so random. the thought just came to my head after i watched wolf creek yesterday.

shucks. chem spa tomorrow. but i'm so tired from dance i'm going to hit the bed first, then wake up early in the morning tomorrow to study. it's what i've been doing lately, and i can never get up as early as i want to. which means i haven't been getting much work done. must wake up on time tomorrow!

i want need sugar. had chocolates today. but i'm still craving for gummy bears, paddle-pop and subway cookies. sugar rush just came suddenly this evening haha.

it'a amazing, really. how everything's changing so fast. and how i'm not in control anymore. hah. like i ever was.


my eighteen birthday may not be my most memorable, it may not be my most fun, but somehow it's different from the others. for the past few years, birthdays were just 'another birthday'. collecting the presents, cutting the cake, and the next day life would go on as per normal, nothing's changed. it's not the number of presents you get - last year i had many presents but it just gives you a kind of superficial happiness, probably because the presents didn't carry much meaning with them, most were polite gifts from acquaintances. this year, i had very few presents in comparison, but i was truly touched, deep down in my heart.

it's the little things that count.

like how pleasantly surprised you are when your friends actually remembered what you said you wanted, though it was just a casual comment made ages ago. i have the 25 girls to thank for that. then the guys actually bothered to make me a card. well, it was actually a piece of paper and it wasn't actually drawn by them, but still! it was so sweet and unexpected, like you don't usually expect guys to do these kinda things. then today, the dancers gave me my present. i was so shocked because i never ever in my life thought that i would receive one from them as the dancers don't have the habit of giving each other presents. but turns out carmen went to look for my gift yesterday after her meeting, though it was already very late and desperately searched for the perfect one cos' she was afraid i wouldn't like it. it wasn't cheap, and some of the dancers aren't exactly well off, so what touched me most of all was really the way someone in dance reacted when she heard she had to pay so much. can't say it here cos' it's kinda personal. but it really touched me. greatly. and made me feel a bit guilty too, i must say.

then there was viento's bunny too, and all the other little gifts which carried a whole lot of meaning.

seriously i have no idea why i'm being so sentimental. maybe i'm just beginning to learn to appreciate things a little more.

for the past few weeks there's been so much embitterment in me, i was so sour and wary about everything and everyone. now, i realised i've been mistaken about some people. how i hate people to judge me, but yet i myself judge people too quickly.

i hope to be a better christian. that's my wish.

feeling loved and blessed is like a buoy. it's not some miracle drug to give you instant happiness. but at least it keeps you alive in this crazy world.


loved. :)