"You're wishin' too much, baby. You gotta stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughta be.”
-

zombie.

sorry i wasn't very good company yesterday. told you i was in a stoney mood.

cheka said that i walked slower than usual, talked less than usual.
suicide bomber said that i had a tinge of sadness, or maybe fatigue, about me.
all of them asked what was wrong.

thanks guys, for being such great pals. don't know how i'll ever survive without you all.

sorry i couldn't tell you what happened. it's too painful to put in words. something is sucking the life out of me.


be yourself day was rather boring. for the whole morning, we just walked around the school aimlessly, checking out what other people were doing. then for the finale, we were herded into the hall where we were forced to watch some pageant-cum-performance. it was torturous waiting for time to crawl by. i ended up playing pinball on my phone.

when school ended things began to liven up a bit. went to nyp to have a farewell lunch with mr chua. then headed to jurong east for ice-skating. quite fun. at night we went to mos at causeway point. went home together with frank, who totally freaked me out in the bus with his stories of reincarnation and souls. scary! i almost ran up the hill to my house. haha.

i'm supposed to be going out with dan er mingfong youyi and yingjun today. don't feel like going though. i'm in a stoney mood. 0_0 lol.

feel the icy wind rush through your hair. faster and faster and faster. wish i could fall. with a loud hard sickening thud. experience the coldness and the pain. maybe it will wake me up.


charmed is back! wednesdays 830 on channel 5. WOOHOO!
watch watch watch!
:))))))))))


you know about that orange adidas bag which i wanted oh so much but when i went to the limited edition store last month to get it i realised sadly that it was sold out?

well, benita has it. she supposedly bought the last piece.
GROWL.


i love the way you hold me with your eyes,
hold me so tight i can't move.
it's like everything i've ever known is a lie
and you're the simple truth.

nothing. i'm already numb.


finally watched house of wax! yay. went with marie doreen and andrew today. am i the only one who thinks the movie is funny? couldn't help laughing when paris hilton got killed. muahahahaha. the other parts were quite gross though, especially the snipping off the finger part. hmmm what else? paris hilton can't act. the long-hair baddie looks like michael jackson. oh, and when the house of wax melted it looked like chocolate!

shopping. stoning at long john's. air hockey. dan er's present. phin's steakhouse. subway cookies! haha now whenever i go to cine, it's an automatic reaction to head to subway. i'm so addicted! had them like three times this week already.


withdrawal symptoms.

i feel like an idiot.

shall not. will not. must not.
i'm on the verge of exploding.


i still feel a strange twinge in my heart whenever i see anything related to sa. the white and blue uniform with the blue tie. the team sajc t-shirt. the crest. once a saint always a saint. i see these down the street and something crumbles inside of me, falls into a thousand pieces.

doesn't this sound like all my other entries about sa?

i'm annoyed with myself too. for being unable to get out of this mentality. for missing sa so much. st marg's too. and whining so much about it. why can't i just be satisfied with what i have?


eventually.

i give up. it's not that i didn't try, but i simply can't do it. so i'll just drift along and see where the current takes me to. maybe, things will turn out alright.


guess what? i'm still doing my econs essay. havent completed it from last night, and i don't think i will be completing it tonight as well. grrrr.

went to causeway point with yingjun and dan er where yingjun lost her phone. she left it at mos burger, and when she went back to look for it, it was gone. so we helped her cancel her line and file a police report. had a really hard time finding the neighbourhood police post. dan er brought us all around woodlands searching for it. first we took a bus to the area near her house to look for it. we asked people for directions and all of them told us different things so we were like walking around in circles. finally one of them told us that the old police post had shut down and the new one was at the community centre near causeway point. so we took a bus back and walked a whole long way to the cc to look. there, we asked the cc staff and they told us that woodlands police post wasn't in woodlands. it was actually in admiralty! #!%#$&! we walked a whole long way back, boarded the train and went to admiralty. finally found it. exhausted, dan er and i collapsed on the couch inside and started taking photos with my handphone while yingjun went to file her report. lol. the police probably thought we were weird.


have been doing the econs essay for an hour now and i'm not even halfway done yet. i feel like i'm just regurgitating everything from the notes. and there's so bloody much to regurgitate. well, it's not exactly very productive to be doing the essay, chatting online, listening to launch and doing online-window-shopping at the same time but still...urgh! my eyes are dying.

on a lighter note, with gp test over, all the tests for the term are officially cleared. now all i have to do is bear until thursday, get spa over and done with and i can start counting down to the holidays. yay! i can't wait.


went to watch kingdom of heaven with sarah huifen frank and darren. orlando bloom has finally redeemed himself from his wimpy character as paris in troy. it's a typical war movie, not very spectacular but still okay.

what i really wanna watch is house of wax! so that i can laugh at paris hilton. haha.

my tears are turning into time
i've wasted trying to find a reason for goodbye.

tell me that it's over.


i was rather distracted at school. stoned quite a lot.

today i had lunch with sarah marie doreen frank jeremy darren and wenjie at nyp.
went to the grassroots club to play at the arcade with them.
met dan er at yio chu kang mrt station.
went to yingjun's house and sat on the edge of her bed for 1+ hour doing nothing but stone(again).
went to meet madie at junction 8 where we mos-sed and shopped around. bumped into celena and jingteng as well as doggie and gang there.

i've waited long enough. it's time to let go.


dance today was basically helping out with the college day rehearsals. being the award recipients, we were supposed to collect prizes on stage, before making a huge round up the steps of the audi to the second floor, and then down again to the first. countless times. i'm so tired! some kind of cca this is. the teacher-in-charge just "volunteered" us to help out. but at least we got chocolates as a reward. hehe.


disconnection.

your heart is black. dreams ruin everything. wipe that stupid grin off your face. escape from entanglement. "even so quickly may one catch the plague?" yes no maybe-so. get out of sight. spastic idiot. around the corner of your eye. losing myself. lend me your sunshine. i know you won't.


maths and econs test on monday. die.

went to shaun's house yesterday for lunch with him jacq mayhwee karan weihong and charles. stuffed ourselves silly with an enormous amount of food but still couldn't finish eating everything. haha. i actually brought my notes there, intending to get some studying done but ended up watch 'eternal sunshine of the spotless mind' with the rest instead. it's quite cool, the concept of erasing memories and everything. didn't get to watch the ending, though. i had to rush off halfway to meet dan er and yingjun. weihong told me the bus took 40 mins from hougang to amk. but actually it only takes 15 mins. -_-" yup. so i was really early. haha.

made new glasses. i was actually planning to get either red or frameless, but they didn't have nice red ones and my power's too high for frameless. sigh. so i'm stuck with blue angular glasses. oh well.

it's already sunday afternoon and i've only finished partial fractions. trying to figure modulus inequalities out with not much success. all i see are the numbers on the page staring back at me. don't understand the notes. urgh. never mind - shall skip this chapter. the only reason why i'm studying is because i'm afraid the maths teacher will follow mr chua's example and give out the test results from lowest to highest. it's so darn embarassing. lol. still have econs to conquer later. sigh.


remember one morning a few months back? when i woke up wondering who that person was. the one who was standing next to me on the escalator as we went down. i was on the right, he on the left, we were laughing and talking. i had no idea who he was. he wasn't in my class, i had never seen him around at school, never seen him before in my life. he was a total stranger.

remember this, girl.
maybe you'll meet him someday.
*chuckles at the ridiculosity*

remember?

never thought it would come true. never thought it would come so soon. never thought it would leave me in a thousand pieces.


still considering if i should go to shaun's house this saturday for the movie marathon. actually i've already confirmed with him i would, but i'm re-thinking after getting back my chem test today. let's just say it wasn't very well done. sigh. hmmmm should i go? or should i stay at home and mug for the maths and econs test on monday? don't want to end up doing as badly for the upcoming tests. but then, last-minute studying doesn't help much, right? haha yup. so i should go.

i really shouldn't slack so much. oh well...i guess i can always mug in the june holidays. now i'm procrastinating too. haha.

you don't care.

i still miss it like crazy. sajc. 05s72. maybe not the present sa, but the sa of first intake 2005. the nostalgia comes in bits and pieces, little snippets of memories which tug at my heartstrings at the most unexpected moments. no one is here by chance. saints. campus rampus. sa dance society. danceworks. me mel celena- dance sistas forever. rotting in the cafe. rotting in the s.c. rotting in empty classrooms. getting scolded by the counsellors for playing cards in school. sentosa. harbourfront. up saints! mass-ponning chem practical which resulted in mass detention. seeing the chem teacher's tooth fall out. chicken rice ah-beng. looking out for buttdigger, pretty boy, mengzhe and birdie with jacq and nudging her frantically if they walk past. then there was earnest, andrew and kenneth for liting and elsa. in the first three months, i was too busy missing st. marg's to truly appreciate sa life and culture. aj is nice. but sa will always be the home of the saints.

i shouldn't make the same mistake again.

oh. not forgetting, the quote of the year, a most motivating one-liner by mrs lim, principal of sajc. "all of you are spastic in the mind."


thanks to mrs A&P, i am slightly disorientated and highly amused. gosh. it's just typical of her.

i am so tickled. hahaha. hot male forum. to think i almost fell for it. but the numerous smileys and 'luv' gave the game away.

ming darling, if you happen to hop by and read this, please don't mention names like you did the last time. or else... *brandishes knife* haha. miss you. :)


shopping with dan er again. totally like the old times. went to wisma thrice, pacific plaza twice and far east once. just walking to and fro orchard, revisiting the shops again and again.

as usual, i want to buy a lot of things.
as usual, i have no money to buy them.
haha. oh well.

we had lunch at the mac's near pacific plaza, the one outside mango. i could sit there forever under the shade of the trees, listening and talking. and people-watching. *wink*